Witty and funny quotes by Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

‘Classic’ – a book which people praise and don’t read.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying approved of it.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I once heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.

Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.