Witty and funny quotes by Mark Twain

by Jakub Marian

Tip: See my list of the Most Common Mistakes in English. It will teach you how to avoid mis­takes with com­mas, pre­pos­i­tions, ir­reg­u­lar verbs, and much more.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
twain
‘Classic’ – a book which people praise and don’t read.
Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying approved of it.
Mark Twain
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.
Mark Twain
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
I once heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
Mark Twain
Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
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